Forgotten Force Fables
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Stories from back in the day

Kicked out the Club
A special fable by Marcus Camby

After I got off work, me and a couple of my boys decided to go this bar that
has a all you can drink Happy Hour from 4-10pm...gotta love Baltimore.
Anyway, the only problem was that you only get the deal if you win a Happy
Hour or know somebody's name who has won one. Of course, we didn't, but I
told my boys that I would take care of it. We got to the bar and I dropped
some random name. When they said that they didn't see it on their list I
complained about how the person told me that they had a Happy Hour and I
wouldn't be there otherwise...no problem, we were in. We got there around
6:30pm and proceeded to sit at the bar pounding vodka sprites (my new drink
of choice), until a little after 10pm. I don't know how many we had, but by
now, all of us felt pretty good and were ready to go somewhere with a dance
floor...plus, the Happy Hour was over so there was no reason to stay.

A few of our friends had joined us, so we all headed over to this club,
across from the bar. As soon as we walked in, we ran into some more people
that we knew...now it was time to party. I went to the bar, got another
drink, and then started dancing with a couple of girls that we knew. By now
it was almost 11pm, but it was still too early to hit the dance floor, so I
just stayed in our group talking to people and going back and forth dancing
with different girls that we knew. While I was dancing with this girl, a
cute girl walked by holding her boyfriend's hand. I knew that she wasn't
going to dance with me, but I tapped her on the arm anyway, just to be
funny. She smiled and kept on walking...no big deal, I just went back to
dancing. Well, I guess that her boyfriend saw me tap her and didn't
appreciate me trying to talk to his girl cuz when I looked back, she was
holding him back. The dude was glaring at me, but I just looked at him and
laughed cuz he was like Force's height (no offense), plus I was there with
like 20 people so he would have gotten destroyed. Anyway, I figured that
was the end of it, so I went back to dancing. A few minutes later, while I
was dancing with the same girl, a bouncer walked by and said, "Come with
me". He kept walking and I wasn't sure if he was talking to me, so I kept
dancing. Then I saw the bouncer standing by the door signaling me to come
over. Obviously, I wasn't thinking cuz like an idiot, I walked over and the
next thing that I knew, the bouncer took me outside and told the other
bouncers at the door that I was kicked out for the night for "grabbing
girls"...what?!?!? At first, I didn't know what was going on, but then I
realized that punk a$$ dude must have been cool with the bouncer or maybe he
made his girl tell the bouncer that I was grabbing her and got me kicked
out. I couldn't believe that he did that instead of confronting
me...don't let me see him again. Anyway, I knew that no matter what I said,
they weren't going to let me back in so I just stood outside trying to
figure out what I was going to do. I guess that my standing there was
threatening cuz next thing that I knew, 2 cops appeared and escorted me to
the end of the block...all this for tapping a girl on the arm?!?!? Oh yeah,
while the cops were escorting me to the end of the block, I asked them what
"grabbing girls" meant cuz I didn't do anything wrong. One cop was like,
"'No' means 'No'...if a girls says 'stop' then you have to leave her
alone."...all I did was tap some girl on the arm and these dudes made me
sound like a rapist or something. I couldn't believe it, but I just had to
laugh and walked home drunk at 11:30pm.

Anyway, as all of you can see, it was bull...sorry for the language
ladies, but just thinking about it still makes me upset. I still can't
believe that guy got me kicked out cuz he thought I was trying to talk to
his girl. Sad part is, I would have done the same thing if I was
sober...actually, I did the same thing the previous Friday at the same
place...I do it all of the time.

Oh well, I learned lesson...next time, I'll keep moving after I do it so
that the bouncer can't find me.


Cisco - 3, Kidhakus - 0
Guest writer - Marcus Camby


Cisco is the only thing that Kidhakus has never been able to conquer.
Force, Play, and even the Town Drunk have challenged Cisco, but they all
have suffered the same fate. Recap...

Play drank Cisco on my 21st birthday, which was the first time that I ever I
got really drunk. I was hammered by the end of the night and couldn't even
walk straight, but the Cisco had wrecked Play so much that he was leaning on
me and I had to take care of him...not a pretty sight. That was also the
night that Play paid me to get Matt Hahn's autograph, at the Station, for
his girlfriend...I would have done it sober for . Anyway, I told Matt
Hahn that he was my girlfriend's favorite player. So, he gave me an
autograph for her and then told me to get laid for him...what a clown? Like
I would really date somebody whose favorite player was Matt Hahn.

Anyway, Town Drunk's Cisco experience was rather interesting. He was so
wrecked by the end of the night that he was drinking Goldslager straight out
of the bottle. I believe that was also the brake lights night (Elhora &
A-Train)...Force knows what I mean. Oh yeah, Play woke up at 5am to use the
bathroom the next morning and found the Town Drunk passed out on the toilet
with his pants down...the next day, the Town Drunk remembered nothing.

Lastly, Force's experience with Cisco. It was at Kidhakus Manor II and I
believe that it was the same night as our friends Marcy and Brigid's
Christmas party...whatever happened to Marcie? We wanted to get them a
black Santa for Christmas, but we couldn't find one anywhere, so we decided
to buy a white one and paint it. Of course, we waited until the last minute
and Force needed something to get him intoxicated quick, so he bought a
bottle of Cisco. I tried to warn him, but he assured me that he could
handle it. Anyway, we got back to the Manor and Force started drinking and
painting the Santa black. Unfortunately, all he had were watercolors so
soon we realized that we were going to have to paint a coat let it dry and
then paint it again for several coats because the watercolors wouldn't stay
on the material. After the first coat, Force was fine. Halfway through the
second coat, Force told me that maybe I should start painting...uh oh, he
was already feeling the effects. Anyway, I put like 2 or 3 more coats on
the Santa and then we walked over to the party. We got there, said our
hellos and gave them our present...they loved it of course. Then Force and
I headed downstairs to the bar. Force and I befriended the bar tender. He
had a tip cup, but no tips. Force and I told him that we would take care of
it. We threw a couple of dollars in there to get him started and then hung
around for a little while to provide a little encouragement to everybody to
remember to tip. After a few minutes, the tip cup was overflowing...mission
accomplished, off to the dance floor. Of course, we were the only ones on
it, but that was no big deal, we were used to that. All we had to do was
play a couple of good songs and people would come...they just needed a
little motivation. We perused the cd collection and finally found some
songs to our liking. We put on the first song and then hopped back on the
dance floor. It was still just me and Force, but people starting eyeing the
dance floor...alright, we were getting their attention...just a couple of
more songs. Everything was going according to plan, but something about
Force seemed weird, I just couldn't put my finger on it...whatever, I was
probably just imagining it. Then, we put the next song on. Now, a few
people had gathered some courage and started dancing around the dance
floor...we had them, just one more song. Everything was working perfectly,
but now I was positive that something was wrong with Force. I still
couldn't figure out what it was so I decided to concentrate on Force during
the next song. We put the next song on and now the dance floor was packed
with people...the plan worked flawlessly. Unfortuantely, I didn't have time
to celebrate because something was definitely wrong with Force...what is it?
I stared at him and then I realized what it was...it was unthinkable...Force
had lost his rhythm!!! I mean, it wasn't even close...I felt like I was
watching Mark Madsen celebrating the Lakers championship. To make matters
worse, he was spilling his drink all over himself....something had to be
wrong. I walked to Force and suggested that maybe we should chill for a
minute...luckily, he agreed. I asked him if he was feeling alright and he
admitted that he didn't feel well. I took his drink and went and got him
some water. Force said that he was just going to relax for a minute so I
went off to mingle. I came back a few minutes later to check on Force and
all he said was, "more water." By the look of his shirt, I could tell that
most of it didn't make it in his mouth. This went on for about half an hour
and then we decided that maybe it was best to take Force home. On the way
out, I told Force to wait for a minute while I got this girls
number...remember Marcie's cousin? I got her number, said my good byes, and
went to the front door looking for Force...he was gone. I searched
frantically and asked around, but nobody had seen him. I figured that he
had walked home so I went back to the Manor and went to sleep. Force woke
up the next morning with no recollection of the events from the previous
night...Cisco claimed another victim.


3/11/3
Karma

So I'm walking to work this morning. I notice a guy in a wheelchair trying to enter a building. He's having serious problems. So I decide to be a boyscout like Bonacci. I cross the street and help him into the building and up to the 3rd floor where he's trying to get to. This building really wasn't handicap accessible.
So I figure I should have some good karma coming my way.....although it never really pans out for me like that.
Except for today.
I get to work and my co-workers tell me that I've won some cash. Each month we have a monthly lottery. You don't have to put money in, you're kinda just entered. So I won 100.00....just like that.
It's great having money you didn't know was coming.
But extra great since I haven't received a replacement ATM card yet, I was planning on heading into town so I could go to the bank this afternoon. Scrub that mission!
Good day
Harpoon has posted their pictures from the weekend. I made the cut!
If you click on the link, you can find me on Saturday about half way down. I'm wearing a big leprechaun hat.
Harpoon Pictures

As for the actual event, I must admit, I wasn't sure what to expect.
During the week, a lot of people started to back out.....bad weather and high prices among the reasons.
So when Saturday morning hit, I wasn't sure whom I was going with. But I hit the phones and was able to put together a good group of soldiers.
Still, I was only planning on attending a few hours. I didn't want to turn it into an entire day event.
That plan went out the window. I just had a blast! I ran into people I hadn't seen in years. Middle school, high school, college, post-college friends. And they were all people I was glad to see. Usually I'm trying to duck people. It was fantastic. Then during the 2nd half of the day, Bonacci started hooking up free drinks. The weather was fine. It was just a good day.
Post-Harpoon I found myself over at West Street at a Bachelorette party. I'm not exactly sure how that went down. I need to get in touch with them.
But once again....a very, very successful weekend.

3/4/3
Name the Puppy

Very funny.....I don't know which one of you jokers started this but you know it ain't right. I expected a little more decorum from you all. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.
You guys are wrong.
I personally like Forcefido but that's just me.
And for some reason, a couple of you e-mailed me personally dog names rather than just adding it to the poll: Fenway and Rufferto.

Well....I'm quite behind in everything. I have a couple of big projects I'm working on.
Plus yesterday I was very weak from the weekend past.

Another good one starts tonight.
Tuesday Trivia
Wildcard Wednesday - the new aptly named Wednesday fun night. Since we've been having problems filling our Wednesdays, we decided we'd try someplace new every week for awhile. This week....Hong Kong Cambridge.
Thursday - Parker's B-day
Friday - The weekend has arrived once again





What should 2E name his new Chocolate Lab Puppy?




Mardi Gras

Alright...it's all set. Most of you should have received the evite this morning about Saturday night at the Pour House. From the list, it appears like it'll be a pretty good event.
Get there early....the Pour House is only letting the first 150 in. And the list has more than that signed up. I talked to the girl running it this afternoon. I had never met her or anything but I wanted to make sure we'd be good. Essentially...it's first come so just get there. I'm going between 7:30-8:00. Hope to see you there.
Looks like a good ratio boys....

2/25/3
Cat's Meow

It just came to my attention that Fat Tuesday falls on a week from now.
I'm sure many of you have heard about the adventures Mad Dog, Moots and I went on when we made the journey to New Orleans for Mardi Gras two years ago.
What a trip! I'll never think of gyro's the same again.
Anyways....I'm really hoping something goes down this weekend. It's a bit too late for me to plan something big so if anyone has any ideas, please let me know.

2/24/3
Phone

As many of you know, my cell phone doesn't work too well in my apartment. I had the same problem in Diego but there I could just go outside. Boston in the winter....not so much.
So if you're having problems reaching me by cell, usually on weekend afternoons or weekdays between 8:00-10:00pm) you can call me at my home number.
Since I'm sharing it with people, I'm not going to post it on the site. But if you'd like it, send me an e-mail and I'll get it to. Thanks.

2/23/3
Weekend

Not much time to write

Friday: Met some of my bar crawl people at a charity function for a few hours at Clery's.
Then I got up with my roommates over at Emily's. Emily's still has one of the best girl-to-guy ratio's in Boston.

Saturday: Had a late Happy Hour over Volcano Bowls.
Headed into town and went to the Rattlesnake for a drink or two.
Hit the Alley. Ran into a few blasts from the past before entering Sweetwater.
Damn Long Islands get me every time!

Sunday: Spent all afternoon and most of the evening hanging out with an old friend. Always good catching up.

2/20/3
4,000

Another Milestone.
Broke 4,000 hits today.
KIDHAKUS!

I had my first Maryland Alumni event since I moved back to Boston last night. It went very, very well. My word for the next few months is network.
As for the game....F-Duke.
Afterwards, I met up with Mad Dog over at Lucky's for a birthday cocktail.
Weekend is starting to come together.
Meeting up with some friends after work for a quick drink.
Tonight we're trying a new place for scorpion/volcano bowls before hitting Sligo's. Tomorrow I have a Boston Marathon fundraiser event.

Bachelorette
I certainly got tricked on this one. I've been hyping Charlie forever. I never thought the sensitive, bad poem writing firefighter would win.
I was so confident that I didn't even watch it. I got a call. I don't know what to say....always throwing that curve ball. Logic means nothing.

2/19/3
Mad Dog
Happy Birthday Mad Dog

With so many pictures on this site, I'm running out of available room. So I decided to expand and use some outside services.
Please let me know if this link doesn't work.

Maryland/Duke tonight
This game will pretty much decide my mood for the rest of the week. Go Terps!

2/18/3
Electric Relaxation

Most of you know where I'm coming from. But no time for that. It's Trivia Tuesday.

Quick, Quick, Quick breakdown
Friday - Susie, Matt, Camby, Jen, Parker, Dirt, Johnny Matrix, Bonacci and company do the Hong Kong/Jose thing.
$1.00 Molsons....you can't go wrong

Saturday - Bar Crawl
You had to be there
So many stories

Sunday
I ended up crashing at Bugman's after the bar crawl. We had the buddy system going. An afternoon of bowling and boozing.

Monday
Still at Parker's
The Blizzard hits
I told you....Zora on Joe Mill. It wasn't really a question.

Now I'm back to work. I was up at 5:00 this morning cause I had to finally get home, change and then come back to work.
One of my roommates got in a car accident (he's fine) and the other is stuck in NH somewhere (he went to Montreal for the weekend) because of the storm.

I did some work with the Miss Kidhakus 2003 page.
Just click the pictures.

Ali G is coming to the US. I've seen some of his material before. Bootleg of course. He's really big in Europe and predict sucess over here as well.

2/14/3
V-Day

Hope you all have an excellent Valentine's Day and weekend.


2/13/3
We's about to get hectic

I'm sorry. Things are really busy today. I have a lot of things going on. Picking people up at the airport, bar crawl, Valentine's Day, etc....
Things are hectic.

But I just heard some disturbing news.
Back in the
Hulk Hogan's Rock N Wrestling! was my favorite Saturday morning cartoon. Every week I was engrossed by the adventures of Hogan and his crew....especially my man Junk Yard Dog. He brought it for real!
Every week Roddy Piper and his group of cronies used to always mess with my boys. I hated Piper! And I still do. Damn skirt wearing sucka!
I hadn't thought about the show in so long. Until today. Warm memories came back immediatly. What ever happened to those days. These days, it's a mircale if I'm up before noon on a Saturday.
Back to my point, Mr. Earley....how could you!?!?! Piper's your favorite character!?!?! You raised such a nice daughter. How could this have happened? Please say it ain't so. Say it ain't so!

Okay.....

During my 5 week jobless streak, I didn't have many options. I wasn't making money and all my savings were spent with the move back. I'd be trapped inside my house all day....which wasn't bad cause it was freezing outside.
But something happened to me. I was going to take it to the grave but I've always been upfront about stuff. I got addicted to daytime TV. Well....really it was just one show: Passions.
I don't how it happened. But it did. Thank goodness I got a job when I did. Such a great show.
Okay...I did it. I feel much better now.


2/12/3
Ahead

Do this ASAP if you're coming Saturday night!
Go to the below website and get on the guest list.
You'll save time and money. It's free!

Big Cheesy

Added some stuff (finally) to the Forcemendations Page


Our team didn't win at trivia but we're getting better. After the first round, we were looking up at about 15 teams.
But we made a great 2nd half run! It was a total team effort.
We faltered with the final questions but we're satisfied with our showing.

Tonight - Ladies 80's

Tomorrow - We have a pre-Valentine's Day party to attend and then Sligo's

Friday - Return of Susie and Marcus. Scorpion Bowls!

Saturday - Valentine's Day Massacre Bar Crawl


2/10/3
Supplemental

I can't believe I forgot.
Okay this is for the boys. Kidhakus Crew or otherwise.
Friday is Valentine's Day.
Do not forget.
Do not wait until the last minute.
Get your sh*t together now!
And don't fall for the trick your girl might pull: "I don't really care. It's a stupid Hallmark holiday. You don't have to get me anything."
It's the oldest trick in the book yet at least one of you falls for it every year.
C'mon....get smart men!
Little things mean a lot. Take care of this day correctly and you shall be rewarded for weeks to come.
Another tip, if you can afford it, have something sent to her office*. That way all her coworkers can see what a romantic gentleman you are. It's that easy.

*lingerie excluded


2/10/3
Bar Crawl #1

Friday was pretty slow. With all the snow and all. I didn't really feel up to anything. Plus I really wanted to save for the Bar Crawl. I did a little boozing just to keep my liver ready but not too much.
Saturday I had to get up early and head home to Milton to do some things. I also needed to get my hair cut and run a few other errands.
I got way behind schedule.
Bar Crawl started at 4:00 and I was stuck in traffic on the Expressway at 3:45 (damn Big Dig!)

So I get home and figure no way can I make the first bar.
So I just get changed and figure I can make it to the 2nd bar.
A few people call me and tell me they're running behind. F-it! I'll go to the crawl solo. I figure I'll run into someone I know.

My new ATM card has just arrived so I'm ready. I take the T into the city and get ready to booze. On my way to the 2nd bar, I stop at my bank so I can take out some cash. Wouldn't you know it.....my stupid card doesn't work.
Okay....I have enough cash on me so it shouldn't be too much of a problem, I'll just have to pace myself.

I hit the bar and recognize nobody. It's fine though. Everyone is drunk. I grab a name tag, The Force Has Arrived.
I get my mingle on, kinda stinks without a wingman but sometimes it has to be done.
The first group I engage with are pretty cool. They welcome me into their circle with open arms.
Then we hit the Hong Kong, a few scorpion bowl races and I'm feeling good.
Times are good.
We make it to Trinity and I start talking with another group. They're alright. Kinda boring so I sneak off to the bar.
These 2 guys come up and ask me if I want a shot of tequila.
C'mon now....that's like asking Yogi Bear if he wants a picnic basket.
Of course I want a shot!
So then we get talking and it turns out that I went to middle school with these guys! They were a couple years older but we knew a lot of the same people.
I'm in! My bankroll! I didn't pay for another drink. They wouldn't let me. Also....they know every attractive girl on the crawl. It was amazing!
So we're on our way to the Place, the final bar. And I run into my roommate and his girlfriend. Things are good.
We hit the place and the shots keep on coming!
My friends Heather and Tanya are there. Parker, Bugman, Spence and Johnny arrive soon later.
Dancefloor Force
I spot a girl up on the stage who waves me over. I go over and she invites me to dance with her. I attempt to get on the stage but the bouncer informs me that only girls are allowed up there. Oh well....I run into my bankroll and we head to the bar for more shots.
About 20 minutes later, I see this girl again. She's over at the bar with her crew. So I walk on over to talk to her. Things are good for the first minute or so.
Uh oh....
Bait and Switch! I got played!
She asks me if I want to meet her friend
She points her out to me (No! No! No!)
But I'm a man of the people, plus I don't want to be a scumbag, so I walk on over to meet her.
It was the most awkward situation. Neither of us really had anything to say to each other. Thank goodness for wingmen! Parker comes out of nowhere (thanks Bonacci) and saves me! Good look!
Okay....it's getting close to midnight and the crew is thinking about hitting someplace new.
The Black Rhino is suggested. But we get there and the line is too long. So we decide to go to the Office instead. Once again we get a line but it's not horrible.
We're all waiting in line when a group of 5 girls and a guy arrive and go straight to the front. They know someone inside. I overhear this and decide to make a move.
As the group walks in, I follow like I'm with them.
Works like a charm! Then I pull the same tactic to get upstairs that has a separate line. Just like that. I'm in!
Okay....that's about all I remember. I probably called some of you but I don't really remember.
I woke up the next morning on Parker's couch.
It was so much fun. Once again I'm leaving out some details but in the interest of blowing up my spot or someone else in my party, can't do it.
It was a nice precursor for this weekend.
My old roommate Mr. Soo has decided to join us this weekend. He's coming from Washington DC. My boy Johnny Rock is also coming from NYC.
It's going to be good!

Joe Mill finale is tonight. I'm going with the underdog: Zora!


Breaking News 2/7/3

Compromised!
Quickly looking at the Miss Kidhakus poll this afternoon, it looks like Cons got some people to vote. But I'm thinking he found a way around my poll code and voted multiple times. I can't prove a thing however. No way for me to trace.
But all you Jennifer Garner fans out there, you better get cracking! If you have someone else in your office, vote from their computer.

Quoting Cons this afternoon, "Eliza is at 59% and climbing....early projections have her getting 85% of the popular vote, and taking all but 5 electoral votes! dushku in a landslide!"

2/7/3
Massacre

Pick up your stuff for next weekends Valentine's Day Massacre: The Bar Crawl.

Camby guest writes a story on Forgotten Force Fables.
It's all about the time Kidhakus challenged a little drink called Cisco.

Weekend. Nothing going on tonight. The snow is coming down hard. I'm supposed to see my family but I don't even know if I'm going to do that now. I may just see them early tomorrow afternoon before the bar crawl.

Right now I'm hoping to get out of work early.

Quote from Mike Cons "Eliza Dushku needs to win Miss Kidhakus."
My sources indicate that he's going to start a ballot box stuffing campaign.
Keep voting people!

2/5/3
Trivia Tuesday

So I met Cons, Dip, Jon and Charlotte out for trivia Tuesday. We got there just before 8:00. Both Dip and I called ahead of time to make sure we'd arrive when it started. We were both told 8:00......played like Ikari Warriors. It didn't start til 9:00. It's all good though. I immediately spotted the special they had going: Four 16 ounce Rolling Rocks for .00. Buckets of beers had me thinking back to TJ. What a place....
Okay...once the trivia got started, we were hot! After round 1, we were in first place.
Then things fell apart.
In the end, we didn't finish dead last but we were close.
And the final question.....it amazes me that I didn't get it. So simple.

It was our rookie voyage into trivia. Now that we understand the rules and nuances, I'm sure we'll do much better.
Also....I was ringing a bunch of you last night. We got desperate and decided to start cheating. We had the perpetual life line going. Thanks for the help!

After trivia, I went over to the 24 hour CVS and picked up random supplies. I had never been to a CVS that late before. Some really interesting characters. Excellent people watching!

My walk to work this morning, I go right by an elementary school. Some fourth or fifth graders were outside playing hoop. It was five-on-five. One little black kid. It was the funniest thing I had seen in awhile. He gets the ball, gets quadruple teamed. Does he pass the ball? No, No, No......he cuts his way thru the defense and shoots a beautiful fade away jumper. Swoosh!
Now....he may have double dribbled a few times but ball handling comes with time.
I just got a real kick out of it.

New website I'm promoting is called whatifsports

WhatIfSports.com was created to provide a way for sports fans to settle the age-old question, "What if...?".
For example, what if the '90-91 UNLV Runnin' Rebels played the '01-02 Maryland Terps -or- what if the '95 Chicago Bulls team played the '86 Celtics? How would the 1975 Cincinnati Reds fare against the 1988 Oakland A's? What if the '85 Bears played the 2001 Patriots?

WhatIfSports will not only show you the game results, but also provide a complete boxscore including play by play! The matchup combinations are endless:

Play historical teams from different seasons against each other
Play current teams versus historical teams
Replay games from this season and past seasons that have already been played
Simulate future or potential matchups

So I have a football team with Barry Sanders and Bo Jackson in the same backfield.
A baseball team with pre-injury Garciaparra and 71 homer Bonds.
Basketball with mid-80's Larry, Reggie Lewis and Russell.

2/4/3
3 Cheers

So Kara calls me 5 minutes til 7:00. I'm about to go home for the night. Of course she convinces me to go out for a few drinks.
It was certainly worth it.
I missed Joe Mill but I know what went down. It ain't no surprise. I'm still banking on Zora. We'll see next week.
Okay....Bar Crawl #1 is this Saturday. Can't wait! Remember to try to wear something red.
Bar Crawl #2 (in conjunction with Mad Dog's b-day) is on the horizon also.
It's going to be a great February!
Tonight begins Trivia Tuesdays. I got a crew ready to check it out. We'll see if it can make the regular rotation.
Bostonians....have you seen this thing at Sissy K's. I'm no fan of the place but they're having $1 bud drafts now. And since this town don't no nothing about Happy Hour, it's a great deal. Being next door to the Hong Kong makes a formidable 1-2 Punch!
I did a little cleaning up of the update page. Too much data was slowing things down. So I moved a few things to Force Forgotten Fables. Also, I changed the pictures of the Miss Kidhakus site. Final 4. Keep voting.

2/3/3
Flip Cup

I'm in. Well....mostly in. I still have some cosmetic stuff to do with my room but I've moved most of my stuff in. I need to get some furniture soon.
Saturday night I went to a party in Braintree. It's all really foggy. I got into a huge girls vs. boys flip cup game.
Most of you know, I'm tight at flip cup. If it takes me twice to get it over, it's an aberration. One and done. I get it every time.
So I made myself the self appointed captain of my team.
Goodness....I've never played with such a sorry sap of players before. Half my team had no clue how to play. I mean after 3 or 4 games you figure they'd catch on...No...No...No...not my team. One guy in particular kept trying to flip the cup over the wrong way. I just couldn't comprehend.
Well...thanks to great coaching and leadership, I managed to lead the guys to a comeback win against the girls.
Then we had the rematch. Both teams were cut down to 6 people and we had a best of five series. We got crushed.
Then we had another rematch. Crushed again.
I could only do so much. My team fell under the influence of that sweet seductress I like to call alcohol. Cups were flying all over the place. It was a mess. Oh well....you win some, you lose some.

Okay....I've trimmed down the list. I was going to take the top 3 vote recipients for Miss Kidhakus 2003 but it was so close, I took the top 4. So vote now! Polls will close on Valentines Day.
That's when the new Miss Kidhakus will be formally announced.

1/31/3
Celly

My new cell number effective today is (617) 308-0596.
Sprint tried to play me and give me some trash (857) number but I moaned and complained and got what I needed. 617 is the way to be!

Met up with Mad Dog, Pennies, Hamel, Parker and JT last night over at Hennessy's. Had a few pints, some greasy food. You know how it is.
After a couple hours, Parker, JT and I went over to Lucky's for drinks. Our man D. Reynolds drove over to meet us. It started off a night just like any. I was drinking crown and gingers in dedication to my ace Kara.
So the boys and I are sitting at the bar. Parker notices someone he thinks he knows from back in the day. Way back! I've met the girl before so I decide to confirm. I find her and she kinda looks familiar but I can't be sure.
Then another girl he recognizes....his girlfriend from 8th grade. Once again I'm skeptical but he'd know better than I would.
So we figure we'll go over and have a chat with them. We're still not 100% (at least I'm not but what the heck)
Well....Parker was right. It's been almost a decade (scary) but he has a good memory.
I'm thinking about my 8th grade girlfriend and if I randomly saw her, I'd be heading for the hills!
Anyways.....things went very well. It was a decent group of people they were out with so it made things easy. Fun night
This weekend....not sure yet. I'm working on it right now.
The big move goes down tomorrow.

New Address is

Forcequarters
271 Highland Avenue
Apartment #1
Somerville, MA 02143-1310

Have a great weekend
To my San Diego crew....wishing you big winnings in Vegas



1/30/3
Ladies 80's

Back in San Diego I tried to keep a regular schedule of activities.
Sunday was football during the day, The Tavern occasionally at night
Monday was laundry day and recover day
Tuesdays we were bowling for awhile
Wednesdays was Scorpion Bowl night along with reality TV
Thursdays started with Happy Hour right after work and then it was free lancing
Friday/Saturday - Always something

So I'm trying to get that down here in Boston. And last night, I'm afriad I found a new Wednesday activity.
I already have Tuesday Trivia and Thirsty Thursday.
So Ladies 80's Wednesday is now the potential hump day activity.

I met up with my partner last night and we decided we'd try out some BC bars. Went up to this dive called Mary Ann's. Back in the day it was always crowded. But last night....straight Ghost Town. We had a quick beer and went across the street to Cityside. A little better but we still weren't feeling it.
So we decided to drive up closer to BU and check out Great Scott's. 2E worked there back in the day and I knew they had an Icehouse special on Wednesdays.
However, when we arrived, to my dismay...no Icehouse but they did have $1.00 Budlight drafts. (Not to mention it was packed with drunk college kids)
So we went deep undercover....it actually reminded me a lot of this bar I used to go to in San Diego. Shots, Drafts, Dancing! It was fantastic!

Another website I'm promoting.
It's called Birthday Alarm. Please go here, enter your birthday so I can keep track. I lost my datebook moving back from the west so I need the info again. Thanks!

1/29/3
This Time

Happy Birthday Jessica
Happy Birthday Ricardo

I've been watching too much reality tv lately.
I need to give some love to some of those dramas out there that ain't half bad.
I've recently been turned onto The Shield. And I really enjoy it.
So that's my newest Forcemendation. Check it out. It comes on Tuesday nights at 10:00 and then an encore at 11:00. I think an encore goes down on Sundays as well. It's on FX.

1/28/3
5th Annual Valentine's Bar Crawl

I sent a lot of you the e-mail about this but I guess it's a bit confusing. We have back-to-back barcrawls.
On the 15th we have the one with 10 bars around the Boylston area.
On the 8th, I know some other guys having a barcrawl around the Faneuil area. Below is the schedule for that crawl.

4:00 Bell in Hand
5:00 The Black Rose
6:00 Hong Kong
7:00 Trinity
8:00 The Place

Hope to see you there!


1/27/3
Bucs

Congrats to the Bucs for putting a beat down on the Raiders.
I'm not really a Bucs fan but I really can't stand the Raiders.
It was nice seeing them get whooped like that.
Well....the Patriots are no longer the World Champions.
Hey....only 17 days til pitchers and catchers report. GO RED SOX!

Weekend....
In short....
White Zin
Scorpion Bowls
Boom Boom Room
I found one of those new Verizon color screen cell phones. I wanted to call the owner but it ran out of batteries before I could find a number. The phone is pretty complicated! So I donated it to FJ since he has a Verizon account. Hopefully he can get it switched over to his name.
Kidhakus

1/26/3
Super

Happy Birthday Kristin







11/13/2

Saturday....
I woke up at like 8am. 4.5 hours of sleep. I was just so excited for the Bar Crawl.
But at around 9:30...I decided that I should try to get some sleep. So I took a nap until noon.
Okay...1:45....Cab #1
Me, Feeney, Kimmy and Dwight

Dick's Last Resort - 1st drink...shot of whiskey
After about 5 minutes...another group of about 10 arrive
After 30 minutes....it's up to about 15

Blarney Stone
I have a beer
It's still a little rainy outside
I spend some time talking to Evy about the prior nights adventures
Ali was supposed to be here. She was so excited! At noon she had called ready to rock.
At 12:30 she had gotten sick.
So we had our 1st official scratch.
I don't know what we were thinking? Friday was supposed to be a chill night. But we went out like we were at Mardi Gras!

The Field
An Irish Place
I had a Guinness
The Old Man....somehow we had recruited some old guy. He looked about 85 but he was only 68. But he was drinking screwdrivers with the quickness. I was afraid to get near him cause I was convinced he was on verge of a stroke.

Fred's
Mexican Place
I order a super size Margarita with salt.
Tiger shows up with one of her work friends: Rebecca
The boys manage to get a couple of free pitchers of beers.
I work on those with them.

Okay....this is around the time when I start losing memories

Moose's
I can't remember what I get. I'm pretty sure I get a shot and a beer.
I remember taking a huge group pic
That's it...I can't rememeber

Buffalo Joe's
It's starting to get dark
Rebecca gets me a hot chocolate from Starbucks

Henry's
People start to order food but the menu is far too confusing. I can no longer read.
Ali shows up!
I had a pint of something.....maybe a Sierra.
I vaguely remember a shot too....probably Jaeger

Maloney's
The McCarthy's of San Diego
I get the boys all excited about playing Golden Tee but then we have too many people so I can't play
I order a beer....biggest thing I've ever seen. Instead of pitchers they have these 60 ounce mugs.
Rumors start floating around....apperently at the next bar, they're having an All-Male Revue.
I ain't down with that! So I make a solo mission to see if the rumor is true or not. It is.
Tsunami's is skipped

Martini Ranch
We've lost a lot of people but we still have a solid dozen. And few are still showing up.
I order a Martini
People are feeling the hurt and starting to head home
Next thing I hear....one of our people has just been taken into custody.
It went down like this
My 2 boys go outside for a smoke. They try to come back inside but the bouncer says they're too drunk. They're not happy at this at all so they start letting the bouncer know. Bouncer gets pissed and jumps on one of my boys. The cops are in the vicininty so they rush over.
My boy gets taken to the drunk tank.
Okay....so I guess we decide we need to go to another bar back by my place.
5 of us jam into a cab and head to the Tavern. The place I was at the night previous.
We have front line privliges so we get in with no problem.
I run into my friend Jamie.
I remember hitting the dancefloor. My jacket is too hot so I leave it under a table.

Closing time....I can't find anyone. I manage to close my tab.
Okay...I'm hungry. I head to a mexican place and order 2 chicken burritos.
Damn....that was my cab money. No cell phone either.
Okay....I could walk to someone's place.
Jamie....she doesn't live to far. But then I'm thinking, I was with her about 15 minutes ago and the last thing I remember her saying was "Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back."
And I can't remember if I waited or not. I think I started dancing or something.
Hmmm....I remember something else. Jamie's roommate's Moms is in town. I'm sure a drunken Force banging on the door in the middle of the night isn't the best thing.
I'm pretty sure it's not the best first impression I want to be making

Fermi and Colin
They live right around the corner from Jamie and I've slept (passed out) on that couch before.
I start walking. It's a lot farther than I thought. I'm about half way.
Arrgghhhh! I left my jacket with my camera at the bar! The jacket is no big deal but I gotta get the camera back. So I double back to the bar.
It's pretty much all closed down but I tell the bouncer that I left my tab so he lets me right in.
I find my jacket. No camera.
I'm super pissed. I'm cursing myself and the damn theif who stole my camera for blocks and blocks.
What the heck is in my pocket!?!?! My camera???
Hmmmm....I guessed I must've moved in into my jeans pocket. Whooops
Feeling kinda stupid but I'm glad I found it!
I get outside of Fermi and Colin's place. The girls that live next door seem to be up. I figure it'll be nice to pay them a visit. After about 30 seconds, I realize I'm too drunk for this. I gotta get to bed.
Fermi's front door is locked but I go around the side and that door is open.
Brice is up playing Zelda. I'm asleep within 10 seconds.
8:00am....the entire house is up. What?!?! They're going to Colin's race. I need to get moving again.
I walk to Jess and Jenny's place. I can sleep there for a couple more hours. But this new place is locked up like Ft.Knox. I'm banging on the door, ringing the bell, trying to get thru windows....nuttin'
No love
Alright...I can make it to Jimmy's place. That place is never locked.
I arrive and Jimmy is still in his clothes passed out on the couch.
I get him up and we decide to start drinking beers.
We find a note on the coffee table....our boy has been freed from the drunk tank. "Live On!"
Football, Football, Football
GO PATS! 1st Place!


Saturday

The plan is to meet at Jimmy's at 11:30. We're hitting wine country in a limo.
I get there on time with my box of wine (gotta warm up with something)
Around noon, we hit the road.
It's a smooth ride up. Plenty of wine and champagne to go around.
A few funny episodes but nothing too significant.

I can't remember the name of the 1st winery we hit. I do remember getting out of the limo and hearing someone whisper "Do you think he's in the NBA?"
And I'm not lying. What a world we live in?
But I won't front, if someone asked me, I would've said yes. Give me a sharpie and I'll sign a wine bottle or 2.
So it's 5.00 for 5 tastes. Well....that's how they want it. But all you gotta do is talk to the staff a little and they'll hook you.

On the way to the 2nd winery, Jess accidentally spills an entire glass of wine on my lap.
So I'm walking around wet, but feeling good cause the wine has started to kick in.
The guy at the 2nd place is named Fred. But Allison and Stacey keep calling him Frank. It's pretty funny. I don't think he really even notices. I think it's the same special, , 5 drinks.
Drew knocks over his glass and it shatters. Fred has to cut him off.
So Stacey tells Fred it's her birthday, let the wine flow. I don't know how many drinks we got but it was at least 10.
Meanwhile, Jimmy and Jess are still in the limo. They decided to just buy a bottle and drink it in the limo.
Also...Tony the limo driver is up to his own thing. He's not a drinker but he likes to do his thing.

We only have time for one more place. Time is flying!
We decide to go to Cilurzo. This is my kind of place. This is the last place we went to last time we were in Temecula.
It's like the Nite Owl of wineries.
For my Boston readers....think Mary Anne's on a Wednesday
For my Maryland readers....think the Vous or Terp Station
It's the spot. 2 for 8 drinks. And they don't keep track! Especially when you use the Force "Zig Zag"
I think they had about 14 different wines. We finished with 13 of them. We would've had #14 but we were running late and Tony came to get us. I love that place.

We're heading home. We stop and pick up some Gatorade and vodka. It's all about electrolytes!

We need to make a bathroom stop. That's when things get a little out of control.
Tony the limo driver is requesting that we pay him on the spot an overtime fee.
We're still not overtime, far from it, so we don't want to pay.
So Jimmy, Drew and Tony are having a yelling match at the gas station. I'm trying to control everyone. Jamie comes out to help as well.
Finally...Tony pulls the "I'm going to call the cops" routine.
That's when Jimmy reminds Tony that Tony had been smoking something illegal while on the trip. And calling the cops wouldn't be the best idea.
The fight is squashed, we get back into the limo.

We get dropped off at Jimmy's. A few people head right to bed. Others, including me, head home.
It's around 5:45 and I gotta get ready for the night.

We have a keg party going on at Ghetto Melrose. Of course we have Beirut and Flip Cup going down. A couple of flip cup rookies on my team but I quickly team them the art. We win convincingly.
Time to hit the bars. I get changed quick (I was drenched in beer after the flip cup tournament due to our championship celebration)

The Irish Girls call me. It's 5:30 am where they are. 9:30 in San Diego. What a great summer I had with them.

So I'm with my boy Dave. He just moved to my complex from Boston. He's mad cool. We're meeting a few others from our place at Typhoon Saloon.
We get in with the quickness and Dave orders us a Jack Daniels Hard Cola. Biggest regret of the night. 2 seconds later we had beers.
So it's a great night, we meet a lot of people. We're working the room like wildfire. I had never worked with him before but he was good.
We actually spent a good part of the night dodging some people from our complex.
Bar closes....it's Dave, me and 4 other girls we know. 2 of them live in Ghetto Melrose with us.
We stop to get some food. Good eatin'
Then we realize that we don't have any way of getting home. We have 7.00 between the 6 of us. It's pretty pathetic. We need about 10.00 to get home.
So we decide to start walking until we think we're in cab range.
After a couple blocks, Shannon and Allison are in front. I'm about 5 steps behind with a friend and Dave is a dozen steps behind with Evy.
Next thing I know, Shannon is rapping to this guy in a SUV. She convinces the guy to give her and her friends a ride home.
Too bad for the guy....he was pretty disappointed when Dave and I jumped into the truck. He thought he was getting all girls.
But we were good to him, we invited him to our place for late night beers.
So we get home. Evy and Dave decide to hit 7-11.
It's taking them awhile so Shannon, Allison and I go on a rescue mission.
7-11 is only like a 3 minute walk. Plus Evy has the keys to Shannon's place and she's trying to get in.
We meet up with them pretty quickly.
Story goes like this, they go to 7-11 to buy some Gatorade, but Evy gets caught trying to steal a Gatorade and lollipops. The guy working isn't too happy. He wants to call the cops and after yelling at them for awhile, he lets them go.
As soon as they get outside, Dave trips over one of those parking cement block things and one of his Gatorades explodes. And he's too mortified to go inside to get another one.
Too much fun
We all head back to the party. That's when the whipped cream comes out.
I can't write any more but it was one of the best things I've ever seen.
I think 4 hours later...I finally passed out.
My phone is still blowing up but I'm done for the night.

10/15/2
Hurley

The Hurley Sisters from Milton were in town for the weekend.
What a mess I was.
Condensed Version
Friday Afternoon - extended LL*
*liquid lunch
Friday Night - Met the Hurley's and company at a bar and boozed it up
Friday Late Night - We all went to a party. Cleared the room once we arrived.
Friday Late, Late Night - Started a dance party at Jim's place. Only 4 of us remained but it didn't stop the cops from coming. I guess we were making too much noise.
It went down like this....we got the stereo going, I'm on the computer downloading the Chipmunks X-Mas album.
Jim is off getting booze for Jess, Jenny and I. I mean, what's a late, late night dance party without booze. Jim really shouldn't be on the road but we're thirsty.
So I hear this knocking on the door. I figure it's Jim with our hooch. I run down and swing the door open. To my dismay, it's the boys in blue. They ask me to turn down the music. I happily oblige.

Minutes later....Jim returns empty handed. Instead of going to the 7-11 around the corner, he hits every other place in the vicinity. All closed.
Anyways...he was coming back home when he saw the cop cruiser. He freaked out and parked his car around the block and hid in the bushes.

10 minutes later, we had the music blaring again.

Saturday was fairly calm most of the day.
Saturday evening a group of us hit an Oktoberfest Festival.
Good times. After a couple hours, I lost everyone I had come with and was with another group of friends. I was really banged up. Thank goodness they were able to get me home.
When I arrived home, there was a keg party going on. I can't pass up on a keg party.
I stayed there for a couple more hours. I ended up in my bed without and bruises or scars so that's good.
Well 1 bruise but it's wicked small.

Sunday I met up with my neighbors from Boston.
We went to Hooters to watch some football. After the games, we decided to hit another bar.
Played a little Golden Tee, had a few shots, good times.
We're feeling great so we decide to head home for a couple hours, quick power nap and then start partying again. Good plan
I take my nap and when I wake up I'm not feeling any different.
I go to see my boys and they're done. They decided to skip the nap and just keep drinking....and other stuff.
I still have to meet the Hurley Sisters out so I get my roommate to come with me. We hit the Tavern. I don't remember much more. I know Tim Dwight was there (receiver for the Chargers) and I was trying to sneak onto his tab but that's about it.
I woke up Monday morning in a haze.


10/7/2
Stories

So many stories. I'm completely backed up. I need to hire a writing staff. I just have too much going on. I promise I'll try to catch up soon. Quick story....I'm not using names of course. Can't be blowing up people's spots.

Saturday night my friends had a party. A really good time. It went really late and a few of us decided it would be best to stay there. No need for drunk driving. I got a couch so I was loving life. I usually get the floor.
I remember once at Colby, I had to sleep in the shower. It was mid-winter and let me tell you, tile floor ain't warm.
Back to the story....
It's around 4am and I'm snoozing. Then I heard some movement on the other side of the room.
Then I heard a sound. It sounded like someone was pouring a beer on the floor.
It was very dark but I was able to pick out a silhouette. That was no beer can!
I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go. I'm just glad I was on the opposite side of the room.
Some other stuff went down too but I'm keeping it on the low.

The next morning was a mystery. The person involved in the event left around 5am. I was the only person who witnessed the event. However, we couldn't find a wet spot on the rug. So I'm thinking maybe I was hallucinating or something.
We did find a pair of men's underwear in the area but it still wasn't enough evidence.
It could've dried but I doubted it.
About 30 minutes later, another friend who stayed the night went to find her bag.
She discovered in horror that it was a bit wet inside.
Another friends bag had also been targeted.
The mystery had been solved!
10/5/2
Beach Cruiser

Played football today. Strained my hamstring pretty quickly. I hate getting old.

Last night I had to borrow my friends bike to get to a bar. He's a lot taller than me and I never thought to adjust the seat. I looked like an idiot. Not too mention I was drunk so I was swerving all over the place.

At one point, I was getting close to a friends house when I noticed them pulling away in their car. I tried yelling but I was out of range. So I tried to call them via cell. Bad idea.
I saw myself heading towards a parked car. No way could I stop.
All of a sudden I became pretty athletic. I jumped back off the bike and landed on my feet.
(I was leaving a message for someone as this was all going down as well)
The bike ended up on the hood of someone's car.
I hear from inside a house "What was that?"
Force needs to flee the scene with the quickness.
I get the bike off the hood of the car and try to get out.
Stupid seat is all high so it's tough but I finally get it done.
I rush out of there unseen.

9/23/2
Weekend

Temecula didn't exactly stay on schedule but we were still able to get our drink on. It was a lot of fun. I can't wait to go again. I love wine country! I'm still getting used to the reds however. I'm sure in time I'll learn to love them.
Highlights

Winery #2
Jamie, Jess, Jenny, Ken, Stacey, Kelly and I are sitting at a table enjoying our wine.
I actually got a champagne sampler at this place.
Anyways....we decide to take pictures. We tap some guy and all of a sudden he's doing stand up. He reminds me a lot of Tom Arnold. He's really having a great time.
A little later, Jess and I decide to go talk to him again. Since we're going to Vegas next week, we figure we'll invite him to come along. He's sitting with his wife and 2 more couples.
I don't know how it happened but all of a sudden he's trying to rip on me. It all began when Tom Arnold's homeboy tried to give me some complicated handshake and probably saw on an Eminem video. He was all pissed that I didn't know it.
Jess also told Tom I was cheap so he was having a great time with that.
It was just hilarious. Old drunk people making fun of you....you can't really say anything back. I was taught to respect my elders. Anyways....we invited them to Vegas but they can't make it. Oh well....I'll find a suitable wingman if it kills me.

Winery #3
I think it was 5 chips for . Each chip was a taste of course.
So I get my chips and wander into the tasting room. Jess is already at the bar ordering.
I was walk into the room I hear whispers from a bachlorette party in the corner
"How about him?"
"He looks like he's from San Diego"
"He's cute"
"Go ask him"

I don't know what in Sam Hill is going on. So I make a beeline to Jess so I can order.
Next thing I know, a lady is right beside me.
The conversation went something like this

Lady: "Are you a singer?"
Me: "Ha Ha....no...."
Lady: "Well....can you sing?"
Me: "Not well....not well at all."
Lady: "You see, my niece is getting married and it would mean a lot to me if you could sing for her."
Me: "Yeah....I'm just not very good. I'm sorry."
Jess (out of nowhere): He's a great singer!

Next thing I know, I'm surrounded by 10 ladies urging me to sing
I turn around to Christina working the bar and order a Reisling

Me: "I don't even know what song to sing."
Group of Ladies: "Sing that one Tom Cruise sings from Top Gun. We'll all sing together."

Now the pressure is on. I ask them to sing a bit for me so I can get the lyrics right.
It's showtime

Me "You've lost that loving feeling..."
I turn to Jess cause I've already forgotten the next line.
She helps me out and now I really begin my performance.
I get down on my knees, work the feather boa the bride to be is wearing, do a little dance
It's all in good fun

The best part is, Jamie, Ken, Stacey and Kelly all missed it. They were in the other room when it all went down. And they all had the cameras. I had a camera in my pocket that Jess was going to try to grab but it would've ruined the performance.
Good times


Street Scene

It happens once a year. Downtown San Diego closes the streets down and it's a big 3-day concert. Music, boozin'.....it's good stuff. It's pretty expensive so I could only afford to go on Saturday. But I was looking forward to seeing Speech from Arrested Development, James Brown, The Roots, the Black Eyed Peas and many more.

Pregame - Like I said earlier, the joint is mad expensive. Gotta get your buzz on beforehand. So out of the people I knew were going.....
My girls Julia, Allison and Jess were at the beach.
My girls Danielle and Marta were out looking at apartments
My boy Kev was AWOL
Luckilly I got in touch with my girl Jenny. She was up for pregaming. And you know how I do, I always like to make it a little fun. She arrives at my place and I grab a bottle of vodka and a bottle of whiskey and tell her to come with me. We jump in my truck and drive over to 7-11. We proceed to get Slurpees and then mix the vodka and whiskey in.
Then we drive across the street. Across the street from my place is a huge park, a golf course and driving range. I drive around the park looking for something. I keep looking.....finally I see it. Mini Golf! Nothing beats mini golf and a vodka/whiskey slurpee on a summer afternoon!
Mind you....the course is a bit ghetto but that's the way I like it. Nobody else was on the course so it was sweet. Well....I should've knocked on wood.
Next thing I know, I got 2 little brats behind me. Now I have nothing wrong with kids. I love them! I'm a godparent to one of Marcus' kids so you know. But these kids were out of control. They were running around, swinging clubs and just being menaces in general. And they LOVED trying to rush us. I think that was their plan. They'd go on their hole as fast as possible and see if they could be at our hole before we were done.
I guess I can't really explain. It doesn't sound so bad but you didn't experience it.
Finally Jenny and I lost all our balls. Sometimes they went into holes and didn't come out. We both managed to get holes in one though so that was cool.

To the Concert

The gates open at 4:00 and I get there with Allison, Jenny and Jess at around 5:00. My boy Kev and his crew are around also.
I think the first thing we do is go check out Speech. It's the end of his set but we get to hear Mr.Wendall and Everyday People. I'm pumped about that! I even have a brief appearance on the big screen.
Time for drinks....we head over to this joint called Fred's and order a couple of pitchers of Margaritas. I check ESPN on TV and see that BC has come from behind to beat Stanford. I'm super excited. I call my man Moots in Boston cause I know he was at the game. I'm expecting him to be all pumped up but he's pretty laid back. He's making me lose my buzz!
He puts cousin Erin on the phone. I haven't seen Erin in forever. We had a nice chat from one of the BC games we attended before. It was the funniest day! I remember clocking some guy in the head with a football (he should've been looking) and Moots almost tackled a guy in a wheelchair.
Enough talking....it was time for The Roots show.


The Camby that Cried Single

There once was a boy who was bored as he sat in his studio watching TV. To amuse himself he took a great breath and called his boys and said, "Jen and I broke up. I'm single again!"

His boys came running to his studio to get the party started. But when they arrived at the his place, they found no single Camby. Jen was sitting on the couch. Camby laughed at the sight of their angry faces.

"Don't cry 'single', Camby," said one of his boys, "when you're not single!" They went grumbling back down to their cribs.

Later, Camby called his boys again, "Jen and I broke up. I'm single again! Let's go clubbing tonight!" To his naughty delight, he watched his boys arrive at his place and once again Jen was sitting on the couch.

When his boys saw Jen they sternly said, "Save your calls for when there is really something wrong! Don't cry 'single' when you got a girl!"

But Camby just grinned and watched them go grumbling down to their cribs once more.

Later, he and Jen had a big fight and broke up. Once she left, he leaped to his feet and called his boys, "I'm single! I'm single!"

But his crew thought he was trying to fool them again, and so they didn't come.

The next morning after a long night of clubbing, everyone wondered why Camby had blown up their cells all night. They went up to his place. They found him weeping.

"I really am single! Jen left! I called you all night, Why didn't you answer? I wanted to go to the Hammer."

His Homie tried to comfort Camby as they walked to brunch.
"Nobody believes a liar...even when he is telling the truth!"

Foxwoods Bachelor Party
Saturday was unbelievable. I don't really remember all that happened. I think I may have been drugged or something cause I'm really unsharp. My brain is mush. I feel fine physically but mentally I'm stupid. We got to Foxwoods at around 2:30. We drank and drank and drank in our rooms (we had 3 suites) for a few hours. We didn't want to go to the casino too early. Around 6 or so (i think) we made our way to the casino. I played some slot machines but that's it. There were a total of 24 of us, I just watched other guys play games. A few of my friends won . It was cool. We spent a lot of time at the bar. It was around 8 or so and we were at the bar. There was this group of young ladies. Around 10 of them. Apparently they were having a bachlorette party. They invited us over. I immediately got a seat right next to this really hot one and started flirting big time. After about 10 minutes talking to her I noticed she had a ring. (F*CK!) I asked her how long she had been married...10 years (WHAT THE F*CK!?!?!?) I thought she was 25 at the very oldest. She was 32. Well, I figured I had no chance but I still kept talking to her. (I think her name was Stacey but I can't remember cause I'm an idiot)
At 9 they were getting a male stripper but we made plans to meet them later at our hotel. Our strippers were coming at 11:00. So they left... We drank for a little while longer and went back to our hotel. Around 10:30, two of the girls showed up. The one who was getting married and this tall blonde who was wearing these white leather pants. The girl who was getting married was pretty hot. I was disappointed Stacey didn't show up too. My mood changed however when the 2 girls approached me and told me how hot Stacey thought I was and how she couldn't stop talking to me. I was like "Where is she?" and they said she was back at their hotel sleeping. I told them to call over and wake her up!!! Our strippers showed up and they did their thing. They were okay but I was more interested in Stacey at this point. The 2 girls called over and Stacey decided to come meet us. There was a club at the casino open til like 2. It was about 12:45 now. We went to the club and she was there. I was super psyched!!! I decided to play a little hard to get. I didn't now if she really liked me or if her friends were lying. I started dancing on my own and she came right over and things were good. I was damn happy. So I was getting seduced. It wasn't my fault. But everytime things started getting a little too hot and heavy, we settled down (I think it may to do with the whole MARRIED thing...who knows) After the club shut down I can't really remember what went down. I vaguely remember going back to their room so they could change. It was weird cause one of their mothers was sleeping in there. Plus the other 6 or 7 girls who were also sleeping. This is where things get really cloudy. Somehow I managed to muck things up. We were all headed back to my hotel. 3 girls and me and my other 2 buddies. All of a sudden they decided they didn't want to go. They wanted to eat. My 2 other friends wanted to go back. So what happened was (since somehow I was the soberest amongst my friends even though I couldn't walk straight or talk) I would go eat with them and bring them back to our hotel afterward. So it was me and 3 HOT chicks. We went to breakfast (it was about 3:00-4:00 by now) Things were going well. They loved me! I was getting compliments right and left. I thought i'd be in there for sure. After we ate, the bride to be told me she wanted to come back to our place to party but the other 2 weren't having it. They wanted to go to bed. I guess I tried to talk them out of it but was unsuccessful. The last thing I remember was I was in the hallway for their hotel. I said "goodnight" to Stacey and gave her my card. Told her if she ever came up to Boston to party to get in touch with me. And that's it. I somehow found my way back to my hotel (even though it took me awhile to find my room cause I took a wrong left at some point) I also remember taunting a bunch of guys. Luckily I still have deceptive speed when I need it.
I finally found the room! Hit the sack.

Carjack
3/12/2
Monday night I had to go pick up my people at the airport. They had gone skiing in Oregon. So I jump into my truck and start it up. I don't like the CD that's playing so I go to find a new one.
Next thing I know...there's a broad in my passenger side seat. She's all frantic and she's requesting a ride. I don't really know what to do. I figure she just had a fight with her boyfriend and is trying to get away. I didn't feel right kicking her out so I ask her where she's headed. She says up Balboa...(it's opposite the airport but I want to get rid of this broad ASAP) I tell her I'm heading up to Target which is 2 miles away on Balboa so I'll give her a ride to there.
So we start driving. She puts the passenger seat all the way down. I figure she's taking a quick nap or something. Then as I turn the corner, I see a ton of cop cars.
Great...I'm harboring a fugitive. I'm gonna get locked! Wait a sec....she could be dangerous. She's gonna carjack me!
We pass the cops and head up Balboa. She puts her seat up and we exchange names. I have the radio on and "Common" is playing.
Meanwhile my mind is racing. She has a little bag and I'm convinced she has at least an uzi in there.
All of a sudden she says "Dr.Jay"
"No...may name's just Jay."
"Dr.Jay...is this Dr.Jay on the radio?"
"Oh...Dr.Dre...nah...this is Common."
"Turn it up!!!"
So now the radio is blasting!
We're getting closer to Target.
All of a sudden, her head is on my shoulders and her hand is on my leg.
I'M SHOOK! I tighten up and hope I come out of this in one piece.
She says "Take this right."
I take a right onto this dark street.
So now I'm figuring she must be a prostitute and/or a drug addict. She's probably 25-30 but looks 10 years older. She's gonna jack my truck for drug money and I'm gonna get screwed!
Enough is enough! I stop the truck.
"Where are we going?"
"Just a little further Jay....you trust me right, do you trust me?"
HELL NO "Yeah...I trust you"
So we drive a couple more blocks to this house. I guess she has some friends who live here. I stop the truck and I'm ready to be done with her.
She says "I'm hungry, are you hungry?"
"Nope, I just ate"
Then she starts playing around with stuff in my truck. She finds these sunglasses and asks to keep them.
I tell her they belong to Marcus and I couldn't give them away.
Ain't looking like she's leaving so I finally tell her I gotta go.
She gets the picture. She leans over, kisses me on the cheek and gets out.
I peel out of there and don't look back!

Theo
Picture this....early March, 1996, College Park
Parker and I are living together in Cambridge Hall.
Across the hall live Play and the Yellow Streak. The Town Drunk also lives across the hall but these details are pretty insignificant.
We had a pet snake. It was illegal to have pets in the dorms but we got over.
The snake's name was "Telly"
He was named after the main character in the movie "Kids"
So once a month Telly had to be fed a mouse. This was always a big event on the floor.
So we get this mouse from the pet store per usual and put it in the cage to let Telly do his thing.
But something's wrong. Telly isn't up to eating. We're not sure why. So instead, the mouse just messes with Telly. Big time! Telly is getting all scratched up and everything. So we had to take the mouse out of the cage. He was too tough.
A couple days go by and we try again with the same results. Telly won't eat. So we take the mouse out of the cage again.
Then we wake up one morning to discover the mouse is gone. He had escaped from his box! We looked everywhere but couldn't find him. Oh well....
We got out boozin' that night and come home. The mouse is sitting in the middle of our dorm room. Parker and I both make dashes to get him but we fail.
This happens again for the next few nights, we come home drunk from the bars, and the mouse is just hanging out in the room. We try to get him and he darts away to secret areas.
Spring Break is approaching and we still can't find the mouse. We tear the room upside down but it's useless. Our boy JT is pet sitting Telly for us while we're gone for the week. So we pack our bags and head down to Catholic University to bring Telly to JT's place.
So we get there, set up the tank and everything is good. Parker and I are planning to stay the night so we go back to the car to get some stuff from our luggage in the trunk.
We pop open the trunk and the mouse jumps out at us!
He's on the run but he has no place to hide. We get him cornered and capture him!
It's on! Telly hasn't eaten in forever. It's time!
Nope....it ain't happening. This mouse was straight Die Hard! He went right after Telly again. So once again we separate them.
So now the mouse becomes the fan favorite. All the guys are loving him and one of the girlfriends names him "Theo"
I'm not sure why Theo but it works.
But things get out of control again. The boys make Theo crazier than he really is. Due to the fact I have a lot of friends who are really into animals, I don't want to say exactly what they did to him, they just changed Theo's diet a little.
But Theo got a new lease on life. We decided that he deserved to live. He worked hard! Good for him!
Parker and I split for spring break. When he return....Theo is no more. He wasn't eaten by the snake and he didn't have a heart attack or anything. He just became too crazy. He took a good chunk out of my friends hand one evening and in a reflex act, Theo was tossed across the room.
RIP Theo (of course we had a funeral)